Humanity

Dad of 4 Daughter’s Instagram Account Hilariously Illustrates The Joys of Parenting

Having 4 daughters is sure to make life interesting, and Simon Hooper’s Instagram account documents it to perfection with his hilarious unfiltered view on life as a dad.

Having amassed over 400k followers, the London based “Father of Daughters” has shared everything from his daughters Sex Education questions, to his Changing Diaper disasters.

I’m not sure that we’d do it justice explaining, so let’s just share some of the “Father of Daughters” gems.

"The Domino Position"

In the absence of clemmie to help & unwilling to pick a favourite to feed first, I created a feeding approach I've dubbed 'the domino' position. It was lik watching a drinking contest between 2 determined guys who think necking beers will impress women (I tried that myself in my youth, it resulted it me vomiting on the object of my affection, crying, receiving a quick unfriending on facebook & then more crying). I whacked on the max flow teat & watched in amazement as they perfected something I never could - opening their gullets & smashing it off in one go. I've never been so proud. Better wind these guys tonight or they may just re-enact their fathers behaviour (although I'd never unfriend them!) #itshouldntbeimpressivebutitis #mybabycandrinkyourbabyunderthetable #prouddad #twins #bedtime #FOD #fatherofdaughter #dadlife #instadad

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on

 

"Do you wear a condom daddy?"

This week my eldest has been doing sex education at school. Shes very mature about it & having a midwife as a mum, they know a lot more than your average kid, no 'front bottoms' or 'nunnys' in this house, it's strictly a 'vagina' affair (which coincidently would be a great title for a drama series on TV) That said, she's chosen tonight (when @mother_of_daughters is away) to ask questions about men which makes me feel like an embarrassed child, but i promised to tell her the truth. My personal favourites - "do you wear a condom daddy?" Me - "Yes". Then why do you have so many children? Touchè. "Have you and mummy had sex more than 3 times?" I laughed proudly - "Way more......like at least 9 or 10 times" ( I didn't want to come across as a sex crazied maniac). #sexeducation #shestheadultimthechild #sheknowsmorethanme #dontaskaboutmasturbationorilldie #ivedoneitloads #fatherofdaughters #instadad #dadlife #parenting

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on

 

Trainee Illusionists

This morning we were treated to a private perfromance from some trainee illusionists, (I'm always sceptical of magic involving twins, seems suspicious & lazy, right?). After opening the performance with the regurgitation a plastic letter 'A' which she'd swallowed sometime earlier to much applause (& retching), Ottie's next trick was to place her twin is the 'cube of eternal darkness' and make her disappear - the magic words were spoken and poof, like a crap David Blaine, the doors opened to reveal ........ a baby eating an unhealthy amount of packaging paper, accompanied by the strong smell of old broccoli. Well you can't win they all. A for showmanship, F for execution. #magicalcirclemembersheaint #shitmagic #kidsandboxes #offtohogwartswithyou #magic #FOD #fatherofdaughter #instadad #dadlife

A photo posted by Simon (@father_of_daughters) on

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